And I forget to breathe
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Happy 12th Birthday Eloise! By River
As those of you who have been reading our blog might well know, I have not been very well over the Christmas holidays, but it’s a New Year, 35 litres of olive oil pressed and today is my daughter’s birthday. I never knew that there was so much love in my life. I am the kind of head down get to work sort of girl, with a tendency to skim my eyes over the tops of trees and feel the blue skies endlessly stretching over head. It’s the light here that I love the most, it sparkles and bounces off every surface and calls me awake every day.
Today began with a warm fire on and frozen pipes, after all it is still winter time, my favorite season. The sun is rising over the little village of Amieira and the mist has already passed over the river and been on its way.
My daughter came into this world ready, blue eyes steadily gazing at us as if to say I have been waiting to meet you. Why does everything take such a long time? She was desperate to get out and stretch those beautiful long limbs of hers. After an hour and a half of labour, there she was and next to me alone in our bedroom my beautiful husband and best mate. When we crawled into bed and awoke Joshua such a feeling of completeness took over me that I knew I would never recover from this kind of loving.
So we called her Eloise Grace Winter. Eloise, warrior of light and the name of my grandmother Grace a state of loving kindness which we all hope to live under and Winter, the family name of my beloved husband and his beautiful family.
This morning, while the children were still sleeping, I took a walk around our frozen patch of heaven and felt the ice and stone crunching under my boots. Moses our dog is all too keen to get going in the morning and I can never resist his eager dawn greetings, so, slightly frozen I ventured out. I am now walking in my daughters’ shoes of two years ago, she is twelve but she is bypassing me so fast that often my mind is in a blur. Slow down girl, I always want to say but how could she when there is so much beauty and laughter she wants to share each day.
We Winters have finally moved into our home and are finding our rhythm, the daffodils planted by the previous owners of our house over 40 years ago are flowering, soaking up and dragging each drop of sunshine to the ground. I have started clearing the vegetable patch and the forest s as green as anyone can imagine as green as my little girls eyes today. The sky is blue and crisp and I know I will see this in her eyes too. How could there be anything else but joy in our lives today? Another day of play.
I have always loved the children’s birthdays best and today we will be hanging out with our gorgeous friends Shanti B from Angola and Emma from Ireland and Ellie’s lovely Portuguese friend from school Joanna, and the cacophony of heritage that we the Winters represent. Praise and love be ever present. Today, on my daily walk in my daughters’ shoes I am reminded yet again of the many actions that needed to take place in order for us to be here. I see the sign of my daughter to remind me that I am home, “Moses”, I see the boat of some friends waiting for their return, I see Olive leaves and upturned trees, the hard crunch of stone and the ever-present sound of the river below combined with the wind in the trees and the birds chirping the morning sound remind me of how grateful I truly am that we are finally at home, again.
Thank you all my friends for your loving kindness and the big net you have all spread to help me come all the way back round to the same rising lights. Obrigada.
Here is a Poem for the Girls who will Rip your Heart Out and Show You How to Love
Her colour vibrates
She awakens and enlivens
Every moment with Sound
A spiritual gift
In her I see
Chronic pain of a toxic world released in laughter
schooled in love
Every emotion is held in her presence
Crystal light is this child
All the while still the same as she came
A veil is pulled back in each generation
Her every utterance s a heart string pulled
She sits pink, divinely feminine
Unabashed energy held within a structure
All power, all gravity and light
She sees sickness before the tide swells
And vibrates, shake and tell
Cuddling touch, kiss and hugs
This way to play
Patronised, manipulated or lied to
Give me beauty and truth
Telepathic or just switched on
Come into the world as royalty
And act that Way
Not afraid to feel and live
Draw to the light
Moths die at the heat of the bulb but still come
A multi- coloured dress enters my world
And I forget to breathe
And I forget to breathe
Thank you Ellie
For the heart song you give to me
Introducing Eloise Grace Winter, 12 years of age, princess of Moses........